My satisfaction.

This blog post is a long time coming. And I'm so excited to finally share what the Lord has been doing in my life.

I recently read the book "Kisses From Katie" and let me be the first to say if you have not read it yet GO BUY IT. It entirely changed my life and outlook on the world. But there was one thing that Katie said over and over that really struck me. She said "I would not have been able to move to Uganda and be by myself if my satisfaction did not come from the Lord." And every time i read that it hit me really hard. I quickly realized all of my satisfaction did not come from the Lord. Maybe 45% of my satisfaction came from the Lord but not 100%. But then i had to figure out where i got my satisfaction from. Boys. No way, that can not be it. I would not be stupid enough to look to my relationships for my satisfaction. But, its true. Whatever mood i was in or how i felt that day always came back to if my boyfriend was happy with me. And that's the way it was with my boyfriend before that as well. So first i thought, Lord, can't i get my satisfaction from both. But quickly the Lord showed me that was not going to work. I have to be completely sold out for the Lord and that will fill the void in my heart that boys normally do.

Since i was 14 i have had 3 boyfriends, and only 2 weeks in between each relationship. So getting used to not having a boyfriend has been a strange transition for me. But the Lord is carrying me through it in his arms. Now, it would be a lie to tell you ever since i made the decision my life has just been wonderful and i never have sad days. But the Lord is so evidentally working in my life. In the past month i have felt the Lords presents in my life more than ever before. I suddenly have such an urge to read scripture and just be with Jesus. As where used to it was much more of chore. But i still can not brag about my love for Christ because i fail him every single day.

If you do not feel like you are sold out for the Lord, i encourage you to figure out what is keeping you from the Lord being you 100% satisfaction. And then getting rid of it and completely surrendering to Jesus. I can not promise you it will be an easy thing to do, but i can promise you the Lord will walk with you through it like never before.

Please keep me and my walk with the Lord in your prayers, He is doing great things but i have a ways to go. :)

Love y'all!